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Melanie Andersen in 2004.

Who Am I?

I passionately seek truth in all things. Is there a God? What is the best way to birth a baby? How does our bodies work? How do we raise children? I think at some level, all human beings are searching for the answers to how best to go about doing things. I think of it as the "Divine Art of Living". I want my life to be meaningful, effective, the best I can possibly make it. I want to leave this world with no regrets - knowing that I tried my best (which is far from perfect - but my best effort). I have passionately sought truth in many areas of my life and feel passionate about the things I have come to believe in. We each have our own path to journey along. We each have our own lessons to learn. The choices I've made and the things that I'm passionate about are what have been conducive to spiritual, emotional and physical development for me. Let me share some of my passions with you- maybe they can be helpful to you on your journey!

First Passion: God

I remember as a child pacing the school yard contemplating the existence of God and an after-life while my friends played somewhere else. I went through so many different philosophies: atheism, reincarnation... I had best friends who were of many different Faiths. I had a hard time believing that my Christian friends were going to heaven while my Hindu and Jewish friends were not. When I was in my late teens, a friend of mine (who impressed me with her genuine and sincere love) introduced me to the Baha'i Faith.

When I learned that Baha'u'llah taught that there is one God and therefore one Faith and that the different religions are really simply a chronological unfolding of that one Faith (described in the Baha'i Faith as the principle of Progressive Revelation), I was blown away - because it seemed to answer so many of the questions I had had for so many years. But at the time, I was quite a firm athiest and certainly a skeptic of organized religion. I was sure that there were hypocritical ideologies tucked away somewhere. I spent about a year, passionately trying to uncover this hypocrisy. Many times, I was sure I had finally found it. I would question things, drill Baha'is on their beliefs regarding many issues such as: life after death, abortion, the coming of yet another Messenger from God after Baha'u'llah and therefore making the Baha'i Faith obsolete. I was again blown away by the answers I received. I eventually got to a place where I realized that I could not deny the Truth of this Faith. Baha'u'llah was indeed the most recent Messenger from God and the Baha'i Faith the Cause of God for this day. I very carefully and slowly planned my declaration of faith in Baha'u'llah. I worried that secrets lay hid on the other side of conversion.

Well, I spent the next few years in spiritual ecstasy. Praying to God in tears, asking, "Why have I been given this blessing? Please let others experience what I have experienced. It's just not fair for anyone to be deprived of this ecstasy and joy." I have been a Baha'i now for fourteen years and I have to tell you - it just keeps getting better and better! Sure the initial spiritual ecstasy has worn off like the passion of a new romance wears off. The honeymoon is over, but the marriage is so much more profound and meaningful and fulfilling. My life is so qualitatively different that I can't even describe it. It's like - beforehand, I was looking at a lake and imagining what it would be like to swim in it but that is nothing compared to the actual experience of submerging your body in the lake and feeling it and experiencing it. I've also come to realize that there is a God whether I or anyone else believes there is (even though I still occasionally question, and also have no idea what God actually is - I just know God exists). It's like - the physical laws of the universe effect our daily lives whether we are aware of them or believe in them (ex. the law of gravity exists and effects our daily life whether we believe in it or are even aware of it). There are similarly spiritual laws which we all live by whether we know about them or believe in them - they just are. Some people might think I'm crazy - that's okay. We're all on our own paths and need to feel confident about our own actions, beliefs, and choices in life. But I highly recommend it - look into it. www.bahai.org

Second Passion: Family

I believe that it is very important to have close long-term relationships based on a lifetime commitment and unconditional love. That is what family is – whether it is with parents, siblings, or spouse or other extended family. We have certain emotional needs that I feel can only be met through the comfort, security and constancy of these family relationships. I also believe that these family relationships force us to develop certain spiritual skills, such as: patience, forgiveness, tolerance and love.

I believe that marriage is a fortress for well-being and a sanctuary away from the craziness of this world. Marriage is a commitment between two people to respect each other (respect each others strengths and respect each others weaknesses and respect each others lifelong struggles and respect each others spiritual and emotional growth and respect each others mistakes) and to work out life's events together (the good and the bad and the difficult and the amazing and the so-difficult-it-seems-impossible). Marriage must be based on unconditional love. That means, you love them even when they don't make you feel good, you love them even when they make huge mistakes, you love them even if they make your life more difficult sometimes. Just like we love our children. It is only with unconditional love, true respect and a lifelong commitment that you create an environment in which you feel safe to be yourself, to learn and to heal and to grow. There needs to be encouragement and support and advice and just being there for each other. Marriage is full of compromises since two lives are merged into one, but those compromises and sacrifices are worth the emotional and spiritual health that arises from that relationship. I also feel that loving, respectful, safe and secure physical touch throughout our lives is important to our physical, emotional and spiritual health. It begins with our mother's touch and continues with the touch of our spouse and children. I think that every marriage goes through difficult times. But if both parties are committed to working it out – no matter how hard it is – I think that's how successful marriages occur. It is through difficulties that we can make a greater commitment to the marriage and each other. It is an opportunity to change ourselves for the better (to learn to communicate better, to develop our capacity for forgiveness, patience, understanding, love, etc.)

I believe that raising children exposes us to a new facet of love. I was not aware of the depth of my capacity to love until I had children. There is something magical and indescribable about the physical, emotional and spiritual bonds between mother and child. Having children gives us the motivation to practice what we preach – to be a good role model for our children. It really helps us to reexamine our lives and our character, to determine our beliefs and philosophies. Children teach us humility, sacrifice, patience, unconditional love, forgiveness, and truthfulness.

When our life is full of short, non-committing relationships, it's easy for us to leave when the going get's tough, but what we're really doing is avoiding addressing our shortcomings. We are avoiding an opportunity to improve ourselves.

Third Passion: Health

I have always had an interest in health and how the human body works. Once when I hurt my leg as a child, I searched our medical books to try to figure out exactly what was wrong. When we went to see the doctor, I told him that I believed I had torn a ligament. He was quite impressed. It turned out that I had twisted a ligament, not torn it.

When I was in my late teens, I spent 10 months doing volunteer work in the Marshall Islands in the Pacific. I became quite ill while I was there and never fully recovered. Six months later, I spent a year studying and doing volunteer work in the Fiji Islands and became much more ill. I then spent another three years suffering from very poor health. I saw many specialists, had many tests done, and tried several different forms of therapies and medication to try to improve my state of health. I was told I had “Irritable Bowel Syndrome”. I was in terrible pain most of the time, chronic diarrhea, extremely weak and tired. It became difficult to live a normal life.

Oddly, my five years of suffering miraculously ended when I became pregnant with my first child. But while I was nursing my second child, I noticed that my body was in constant pain (like sore muscles after working out), I had very little energy, eczema, headaches, etc. I started to see a naturopath. She put me on a special diet which avoided common food allergies and was meant to rebalance my intestinal flora. I was on the diet for four weeks and I felt like a thirteen year old again. It gave me energy and joy. I was fascinated by the dramatic change that diet caused in my state of health (physically and emotionally). But it was hard to be on such a strict diet. Over the course of the next three years, I learned more about the relationship between diet and health and SLOWLY changed my eating habits.

A good friend of mine introduced me to some very powerful healing tools: the book Eating Alive By Dr. Jonn Matsen and herbal remedies from Awareness Life Products. In 2003, I went on a very strict diet and used these herbal remedies and noticed dramatic changes in my physical and emotional health. I also began to see a therapist who uses symbolic immersion therapy to help people get in touch with their emotional selves. This therapy has also created profound changes in my life. I have also found yoga tremendously helpful in preventing chronic back pain and conditioning the body without putting too much strain on it.

I think that our health should be one of our highest priorities in life – our physical health, our emotional health, and our spiritual health. Our physical health effects every aspect of our lives. It determines how efficiently we function, as well as the quality of the life we live. It is also a long-term investment. One of my grandparents died two decades ago while some of my grandparents are still alive. I certainly don't want to be in this world for ever, but it would be nice to see my grandchildren and maybe even great-grandchildren. I hope to enjoy the freedom of movement for decades to come. Our emotional health is equally important to our physical health and I think it is sorely neglected in our culture. I strongly believe that everyone should participate in therapy regularly. Our emotional health determines the quality of our relationships with other people both personally and professionally. Our emotional health effects how we perceive the world and events in our lives. Our spiritual health provides meaning and purpose to our lives. It also provides a moral framework which makes us accountable for the decisions and actions we choose to take and effects the quality of our relationships. All three aspects of our health affect each other.

Fourth Passion: Education

Fifth Passion: Environment

It has been a long journey towards environmental awareness and practice in my daily life. I have always been attracted to nature. As a child, I was sure that trees had a soul like me and that the leaves rustling in the wind was them murmuring the secrets of life to me. I remember day-dreaming about my summers surrounded by nature in forests while stuck in cement-walled school classrooms for ten months of the year. I remember when recycling was introduced in my city and I strongly supported it. But that was as far as my environmental awareness went for a long time.

Thanks to a dear friend who gently, yet persistently reminded me about my ability to be a responsible consumer by buying organic produce and fair trade products, I finally had a revelation. The turning point in my decision to be an actively responsible consumer was the revelation that I ultimately choose my own personal destiny. I choose how I want to live my life. Buying organic is not about it being healthier for me, it doesn't matter if it costs a whole lot more, and it doesn't matter if my eco-friendly consumer choices effect significant change in the marketplace or not. It's about practicing what I preach – no, even more personal than that – it's about doing what I feel deep down inside me is the right thing to do and not giving in to what is easy or habitual while a little voice in my head is saying, “Was child labour used to make these shoes I just bought?”

I cannot express the joy and freedom I felt after this. I have fewer pieces of clothing but they are all made from organic cotton. I would never even think of putting chemicals on the food I grow in my garden. Why would I buy food that was grown that way? I feel happiness when I buy organic food or clothing knowing that the farmers were not exposed to harmful chemicals and neither was the earth. So... I started buying organic food whenever possible, growing my own organic food in my backyard, and freezing the extras for food in the winter. I started buying organic cotton clothing at clearance sales online (which ended up being pretty reasonably priced). I started to think about respecting the environment and fellow-human beings in all aspects of my consumerism. What about shoes? Bedding? Children's toys? Office supplies? Furniture? My house itself! It just started to snowball really quickly. Hours of “Googling” on the internet introduced me to a whole new world of responsible-consumerism.

So now, I'm thinking of building an environmentally-friendly home out of straw and clay, and recycled or sustainably harvested wood, and formaldehyde-free non-toxic building materials, and solar power, and wind power, and rain water. Am I some hippie-freak? No. I am just living in a way that I feel good about. I now feel like I'm part of the solution instead of part of the problem. And that is very empowering. As I grow older, I feel like I am getting better at expressing who I really am.

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